Showing posts with label Mobile Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mobile Humour. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 July 2009

Iranians start boycott Nokia campaign

The mobile phone company Nokia is being hit by a growing economic boycott in Iran as consumers sympathetic to the post-election protest movement begin targeting a string of companies deemed to be collaborating with the regime.

Wholesale vendors in the capital report that demand for Nokia handsets has fallen by as much as half in the wake of calls to boycott Nokia Siemens Networks (NSN) for selling communications monitoring systems to Iran.

There are signs that the boycott is spreading: consumers are shunning SMS messaging in protest at the perceived complicity with the regime by the state telecoms company, TCI. Iran's state-run broadcaster has been hit by a collapse in advertising as companies fear being blacklisted in a Facebook petition. There is also anecdotal evidence that people are moving money out of state banks and into private banks.

Nokia is the most prominent western company to suffer from its dealings with the Iranian authorities. Its NSN joint venture with Siemens provided Iran with a monitoring system as it expanded a mobile network last year. NSN says the technology is standard issue to dozens of countries, but protesters believe the company could have provided the network without the monitoring function.

Siemens is also accused of providing Iran with an internet filtering system called Webwasher.

"Iranians' first choice has been Nokia cellphones for several years, partly because Nokia has installed the facility in the country. But in the past weeks, customers' priority has changed," said Reza, a mobile phone seller in Tehran's Big Bazaar.

"Since the news spread that NSN had sold electronic surveillance systems to the Iranian government, people have decided to buy other company's products although they know that Nokia cellphones function better with network coverage in Iran."

Some Tehran shops have removed Nokia phones from their window displays. Hashem, another mobile phone vendor, said: "I don't like to lose my customers and now people don't feel happy seeing Nokia's products. We even had customers who wanted to refund their new Nokia cellphones or change them with just another cellphone from any other companies.

"It's not just a limited case to my shop – I'm also a wholesaler to small shops in provincial markets, and I can say that there is half the demand for Nokia's product these days in comparison with just one month ago, and it's really unprecedented. People feel ashamed of having Nokia cellphones," he added.

News of the boycott has appeared on the front page of Iranian pro-reform papers such as Etemad-e Melli, owned by the reformist candidate Mehdi Karroubi. Hadi Heidari, a prominent Iranian cartoonist, has published an image of a Nokia phone on a No Entry traffic sign.
A Nokia spokeswoman refused to comment on the company's sales in Iran.

The Iranian authorities are believed to have used Nokia's mobile phone monitoring system to target dissidents. Released prisoners have revealed that the authorities were keeping them in custody on the basis of their SMS and phone calls archive, which was at officials' disposal.

One Iranian journalist who has just been released from detention said: "I always had this impression that monitoring calls is just a rumour for threatening us from continuing our job properly, but the nightmare became real when they had my phone calls – conversations in my case.

"And the most unbelievable thing for me is that Nokia sold this system to our government. It would be a reasonable excuse for Nokia if they had sold the monitoring technology to a democratic country for controlling child abuse or other uses, but selling it to the Iranian government with a very clear background of human rights violence and suppression of dissent, it's just inexcusable for me. I'd like to tell Nokia that I'm tortured because they had sold this damn technology to our government."

NSN spokesman Ben Roome said: "As in every other country, telecoms networks in Iran require the capability to lawfully intercept voice calls. In the last two years, the number of mobile subscribers in Iran has grown from 12 million to over 53 million, so to expand the network in the second half of 2008 we were required to provide the facility to intercept voice calls on this network."

The SMS boycott, meanwhile, has apparently forced TCI into drastic price hikes. The cost of an SMS has doubled in recent days. Protesters view the move as a victory.

Friday, 10 July 2009

You know you're Mobsessed when...

Tomi and friends are having fun on Twitter under #mobsessed. They are challenging everyone to complete the sentence "You know you are mobsessed if..". Here are few funny ones:

You know you're #mobsessed when you think text'n'drive is for amateurs. You google and drive.

You know you are #mobsessed if while on vacation,you value a place because it's 3G network coverage

you are #mobsessed if you and your wife squabble over the phone chargers (even though you have one in every room of your house)

You are #mobsessed when you think in sentences of 140 characters or less.

You know you are #mobsessed if you wake up your children in the morning by sending them SMS text messages,

You're #mobsessed when you go to toilet just so you can #tweet legally without being seen as #twitterholic in office

You know you're #mobsessed when you can't download new apps to your iPhone without deleting old ones.

You know you are #mobsessed when dropping your phone causes a near death experience. And you can't help singing when the phone still works.

If u carry 2 phones and are considering 3rd, u are #mobsessed

Check the search results on Twitter.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Qualcomm to put Femtocells in Mutant Animals ;)

In the latest breakthrough from its labs, Qualcomm has perfected a new version of its system-on-a-chip (SoC) technology that can be embedded into animals, turning them into living, breathing highly mobile femtocells. By creating biological femtocells, Qualcomm is allaying one of the critical weaknesses of the wireless network: while the devices on the network are mobile, the infrastructure of the network is static. By turning the family dog, for example, into a femtocell, the issues of dead zones and coverage gaps disappear as coverage moves with you wherever you—and your dog—go.

Research into these dynamic biological networks is still in its infancy, but Qualcomm has released a demo video on the technology, which you can view below. As part of that research, Qualcomm is trying to overcome what it sees as the inherent limitations of many species of animals. Pigeons, for instance, could be used to create a pervasive flying network in any heavily trafficked downtown area, but the pigeon isn’t the most long-lived of animals and it has several predators, thus requiring an operator to constantly reintroduce new pigeons into the network to maintain capacity levels.

Qualcomm has solved that problem through genetic engineering. It has crossbred a pigeon with a wolf, creating a hardier more aggressive femtocell that can defend itself from both predators and the elements. The only problem with this approach, though, is its high susceptibility to industrial espionage. A rival operator could introduce biological femtocell predators into a market, to attack, maim and possible even eat another operator’s femtocells. While bio-engineering femtocells such as the wolf-pigeon might seem a natural defense mechanism against tactics, the rival operator could always engineer a better femtocell. Qualcomm demonstrated how a shark crossbred with a hawk could effectively nullify a femtocell networks composed of wolf pigeons.

See the Video below:

By the way, I hope you have realised that it was an April Fools joke :)

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Mobile Screensaver helps catch a burglar

This story can probably be nominated for the most stupid awards.

A bungling burglar was caught out after he left his mobile phone - with a picture of himself on the screen - in a house he had broken into, police said.

Richard Hannah was jailed for six years today after he was found guilty of burglary by a jury at Nottingham crown court.

Hannah, 30, was confronted by the owner of a house in Mansfield Woodhouse, Nottinghamshire, after he broke in at about 4am on 15 September last year.

After a scuffle between the pair, Hannah, from Poplar Street, Mansfield Woodhouse, left his mobile phone, with a screensaver photo of himself, at the house.

Hannah was found guilty today of burglary after a three-day trial, despite claiming the phone had been stolen and left by someone else.

He was jailed for six years under the government's "three strikes and you're out" crackdown, Nottinghamshire police said.

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Future Phones will be able to understand your thoughts

Honda is working on a technology for Robots in Japan where they can understand the owners thoughts. Right now only four commands can be understood but the success rate is 90%. If this technology becomes successful it can probably be applied to phones as well.

I remember reading (cant find link, sorry) that NTT DoCoMo has already developed a prototype of phone in which you can speak without any sound and the person at the other end wont even notice. He will hear normal voice.

NTT DoCoMo launched Motion sensing phones couple of years back and the main idea was that the user can control things by motion of their hands. I havent dug into details but I can visualise myself in future working on my laptop and just by waving my hand ask my mobile to start composing a text message. I would be able to dictate the message and just with another wave of my hand, the message will be sent.

Japan has always been the leader of these kinds of technologies and companies out there are working hard innovating new technology. NTT DoCoMo (again) showed off last year a technology where the volume can be controlled just by rolling the eyes. At the moment all these things involve some kind of human attachment which makes them impractical for the time being. In future hopefully there will be better alternatives and more reliable technologies like these.

Anyway, we wont see any of the above technologies anytime soon. There is a funny video on Youtube that you will like about these future technologies that is available below:

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Coin operated 'Credit Crunch Mobile'

Bizarre concept, but I have already started liking it.

The following is from dialaphone website:

Following our brief earlier coverage of the phone set to challenge the Credit Crunch, we’re very excited to have the first artist’s impression of this new handset, codenamed the 100-F from a Latvian manufacturer, new to the mobile phone market, called Lirpa. It seems bizarre, but the phone design has been inspired by the global credit crunch (which must have reached Latvia too), and works as either a coin-operated or credit/debit card mobile. The UK variant will have a £1 coin slot for calls and a 10p slot for texts (not a bad price for a PAYG text) as well as a card slot (for which you’ll need to enter your PIN). It sounds like it will be quite bulky, maybe comparable with some of the smartphones around, and features will be limited - no camera or MP3 player as the components would take up too much valuable coin space.

Here are some of the 100-F features:
Colour screen - No
Bluetooth - No
Weight - 110g empty, 400g full
Available colours - Midnight Black, Dirty Grey and Grey Black
Card slot - Visa, Mastercard, Electron
Messaging - SMS, MMS, IOU
Ringtones - Built-in, Vibrate, Jangle

The idea behind this phone is obviously to make you think about how much you spend on calls, and we understand there’s another twist on this - users will be able to opt for having no access to the coin box, in which case they will have to take the phone to one of their network provider’s shops to have it emptied. None of the UK networks have commented on this as yet.

Dont forget to checkout the pre-order offers here.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Prisoners need mobiles too :)

Looks like there is a worldwide problem of Mobiles in the jails. Nearly everywhere mobiles are illegal in jails but people somehow manage to sneak them in.

First, this news from India about an inmate found with a mobile inside the prison. Apparently these phones are used by inmates to create co-ordinated attacks, etc. Sneaking a mobile in India is probably not too difficult because you bribe the policeman and he will get one for you ;)

In Brazil, it difficult to probably get a phone by bribing the policemen. That is why the prisoners have to ask someone to send mobiles using pigeons as carriers. Pigeons are carrying parts of mobiles which are being used by the inmates to assemble and create working mobiles. Maybe they can fix my old Nokia 6280 as well. Unfortunately couple of pigeons were recently caught and thats how authorities found out about them.

The Australian authorities in New South Wales have already passed a law stating that if someone is found smuggling mobiles in prison then they will face 2 years jail and $2200 fine. They are training dogs to sniff out mobiles.

In India a member of public (normal human being like most of us) has demanded that 'rude' mobile users should go to prison:

A petition filed by Gurjit Singh, a member of the public, demands that carrying mobiles at funerals and temples should be made illegal and the installation of mobile phone jammers on school buildings to block students from making calls mandatory.

Mr Singh also wants phone companies to roll-out apparatus would disable mobiles on the roads to avoid traffic accidents, and a law under which civil servants could be imprisoned if they make personal calls on their handsets during office hours.

His final demand is that mobile phones fitted with cameras be outlawed “for the safety of women”.

The measures may appear extreme, but have already won significant backing, including from The Times of India, the country’s most-read English language newspaper. “Mobile phones have made us less considerate for each other,” it said.

The newspaper went on to admit – somewhat ruefully – that banning mobile phones outright was not an option, but added: “The problem will only get worse, unless the parliamentary panel’s observations are taken seriously.”

India’s mobile phone market is one of the few corners of the global economy to have remained impervious – so far – to the effects of the credit crunch. In January, the country added a record 15 million subscribers, making it the world’s fastest growing, with customers from the country's poor rural areas driving the surge.

The industry's success has a dark side, however: in cinema theatres across India audience members can often be heard chatting on their new handsets, discussing the plot of the film as it unfolds on screen.

While even doctors commonly answer calls while treating patients.

The problem is made worse as the phone companies force as many conversations as possible through a limited amount of infrastructure, a cost-cutting measure that executives privately admit lessens the clarity of calls and means users often have to shout to make themselves heard.

There are, however, doubts over whether tough new penalties would work, especially when laws banning other public nuisances such as spitting have failed. A spokesman for RCom, India’s fastest growing mobile provider, insisted that while the industry takes the etiquette issue seriously there is a limit to what it can do. “This is really a matter of personal responsibility,” he said.

My solution for the Indian government is that mobiles should be allowed only in prisons :-)

Friday, 13 February 2009

3GPP Humour with MIMO ;)

TSG-RAN WG1 Meeting #56 R1-091041
Athens, Greece, 9 – 13 February, 2009

Source: MIMO Very Late Session
Text proposal for TR36.814 on M.I.M.O.
Agenda Item:
Document for:
Text Proposal

During offline discussion after the parallel session on Agenda Items 12.3 and 12.4, the very late session attendees arrived at the following text proposal for inclusion into TR 36.814.

--- Start text proposal ---
Annex B1: M.I.M.O. (Informative)

B1.1 Scope

The following section describes the M.I.M.O. approach and is best understood in conjunction with the tune of the song “Y.M.C.A.” performed by Village People played in the background.

B1.2 Lyrics

U-E, when your channel looks fine,
I said, U-E, give the network a sign,
Which means, U-E, give a high C-Q-I,
To report what you have measured.

U-E, there is data for you,
And two codewords,
I think they may come through,
So let's put them onto different ports
And use spatial multiplexing.

In other words it is M-I-M-O.
In other words it is M-I-M-O.
You don't need M-L-D,
There are plenty of ways,
Manufacturers have a choice ...

In other words it is M-I-M-O.
Two antennas you need,
Four by four is agreed,
And your throughput can be so high!

U-E, can you see the Node-B?
Come on, U-E, should it do T-x-D?
Alamouti is a simple approach.
But you've got to know this one thing!

Node-B is not serving just you.
I said, Node-B, has a whole cell to do,
And at cell-edge there's no M-I-M-O
'Cause the S-I-N-R is low.

You cannot always do M-I-M-O.
You cannot always do M-I-M-O.
Two R-x ports you have
So you still can combine,
And the coverage should be fine ...

It's good for you to use M-I-M-O.
Two antennas you need,
Four by four is agreed,
And your throughput can be so high!

U-E, if you want to transmit,
I say, U-E, MI-MO isn’t legit,
You will have to wait for L-T-E- A,
Where RAN-1 will make it okay.

That’s where the decisions are made,
And where many MI-MO sessions run late,
So that Dirk says: ‘Juho will you take care
Of this bunch of loopy people?’.

It's fun to standardize M-I-M-O.
It's fun to specify M-I-M-O.
You don't need M-L-D
There are plenty of ways,
Manufacturers have a choice ...

It's fun to specify M-I-M-O.
When your channel looks fine,
Give the network a sign.

Then just go and do M-I-M-O.
Can you see the Node-B?
Should it do T-x-D?


--- End text proposal ---